By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks hes wrong. Ta-Da! ~ Kin Hubbard, If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldnt be enough to go around. Avoid fruits and nuts. Those who have the gold make the rules. Given the stats on becoming a billionaire or winning the lotto, which we cover later, this is pretty good news. Was that comment meant to offend me? Very few people die past that age. ~ Fran Lebowitz, Im living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. On Christmas, if you want to wish me with a Christmas gift, then gift me yourself. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. ~ Bertolt Brecht, If inflation continues to soar, youre going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. The road to success is always under construction. ~ Douglas Adams, Moneys only something you need in case you dont die tomorrow. ~ Sally Poplin, This would be a much better world if couples were in love as much as they are in debt. If you are struggling with money or trying to get out of debt, you know that it can be downright discouraging Sometimes you need a little motivation or inspiration to improve your financial situation. Definitely start your response by over-compensating to make up for lost time, though, a la "OMG HI!!!! Nothing changed. Everything is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else. ~ Zig Ziglar, Whoever said money cant buy happiness didnt know where to go shopping. The best response to "whatsup" is usually a simple hello or good morning. Funny Replies to Compliments Shut up baby . You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Fortunately, I love money. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. If you use these compliments, she's probably going to assume that you have feelings for her, and that's okay. It's a win-win. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. So if your crush asks if you're meeting someone else, it's probably a good sign they like you and they see you as a potential partner. You bring everyone so much joy when you. Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. He that is content. Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment. Acknowledge it, accept it, and respond wholeheartedly. (Closed), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Clothes make the man. Europe (start here) Cities. When the note is a passive-aggressive complaint about something petty, the urge to give an appropriately hilarious response or make an office prank out of it must be downright irresistible! When somebody . Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. You can change your preferences. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Color your teeth with lipstick. I know it. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. . . Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. And sometimes you go out shopping and theres nothing you like. What on earth the others are here for I dont know. ~ Bob Hope, I rob banks because thats where the money is. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a persons yard. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Some activities may not be possible during some seasons. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I watch them all on TV. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. Your information will *never* be shared or sold to a 3rd party. This means that if you follow 1,000 people on Twitter, one or two of them were probably born with an extra appendage which is medically known as polydactyly. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. You're the reason God created the middle finger. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. An alcoholic is someone you dont like who drinks as much as you do. I hope no one is sick or this gonna be a real mess. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. When life gives you lemons, quit. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. 9. ~ Ronald Reagan, Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. There are some odds quadruplets jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 13. Maybe I've had people abuse my trust too many times. ~ Will Smith, Money doesnt change you. 61. Leaving you with one last funny quote about work, "If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter." ~ John Gotti. ~ Kathleen Norris, Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a mans lifetime income which he then spends sending his son to college. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. ~ George Bernard Shaw, I am not worried about the deficit. Im just going to ask where theyre going and hook up with em later. All Rights Reserved. ~ Mae West, A successful man is one who makes more than his wife can spend. Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! Haters are just confused admirers because they cant figure out the reason why everyone loves you. ~ Malcolm Forbes, If theres a WILL, there are 500 relatives. 71. BILL! 32. put 3 marshmallows in your mouth and sing old MacDonald had a farm eat a cup of dessert without using your hands dance around the nearby tree and giving him a big hug after try licking your nose for 30 seconds crack an egg over your head do the chicken dance spin 10 times and walk across the room We've collected 14 examples of funny online dating messages that tickle the funny bone and make a good impression. I drink to make other people more interesting. ~ Errol Flynn, Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. ~ Sam Ewing, It doesnt matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up. ~ Anonymous, If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account. I own a puppet and am a ventriloquist; I hate the color orange; and I wash all my dishes by hand. And which statistic will actually surprise us? I intend to live forever. It's all-natural and organic. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. Winning an Oscar isnt as hard as we thought, actually! That's so rude You are very lucky. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Write your message but don't send it. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Both phrases can be used somewhat rhetorically (i.e., not a genuine question, but a question the person feels he or she knows the answer to). [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. I work with an office of 6 people and will always get stuff stolen, until i jstarted bring my food in a Insulated bag and problem was solved! Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. Its always darkest before the dawn. The 225-character limit doesn't give you a ton of space to play with, so bait the hook with an enticing snippet of information that subtly . When responding to a compliment, make eye contact, smile, and use open gestures to reinforce your message. The only bathroom law Im interested in is one that bans loud sighing. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. ~ Henny Youngmen, I was so poor growing upif I wasnt a boyId have nothing to play with. Error occurred when generating embed. You just live. After all, I am always kind to animals. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. "I am more patient and kind because of you.". A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. You get to pick the color! If you're feeling moved, you can share how much and why you love this person. 8. Age is just a number. ~ Robin Williams, I made my money the old-fashioned way, I inherited it. Ooops! ~ J. Paul Getty, Money cant buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery. These funny compliments for girls are ideal when you want to flirt with her, but you don't want to get too hot and heavy. I had plastic surgery last week I cut up my credit cards. Not too shabby. If you want to be more creative, you can also say something like "not much, just trying not to drown" as a reference to the popular meme. Hey, whered you get that nose? Its totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. Biologically speaking, if something bites you its more likely to be female. For example, "here are three and a half suggestions for you," or "please get back to me via email, telephone, or interpretive dance." Be quotable. If you live to be one hundred, youve got it made. Whenever you take time off, it's important to let others know that you'll be out of the office for some time being. I feel for the person who wrote the original note tho. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. "I love you so much more than you could ever know.". [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. People who do shit like this are disgusting. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. 68. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. 22. We tend to view humor as an ancillary leadership behavior. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom injuries thats definitely worth reading over. By Dylan Magner. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Ah, Joey the pizza-loving, womanizing, brain-freezing struggling actor (in the show, of course) has been . 31. The only style we don't publish is satire news, because you already know where to get that. Its too small to be out there all alone. I want to achieve it through not dying. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor, If women didnt exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. Its only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. Im not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. ~ Anonymous, Who is rich? Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. But chances are, inevitably a . Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my hand. ~ Rodney Dangerfield, I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. 2. You have an old soul. "May the odds ever be in your favor.". ~ Herman Wouk, Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. Don Marquis "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. Serves him . Improve your finances in the next 20 minutes. Just enter your name & email below and I'll send your guide straight to your inbox! To fall and die? You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY! Nov 3, 2011, 11:58 AM. Youre actually much more likely to die as a result of coming into contact with hornets, wasps or bees (1 in 54,093) than even being bitten by a shark according to the National Safety Council. Why would anyone take that person's home? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. ~ Jack Yelton, If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Or, if you have previously met, try something like "Reconnecting after [e.g. Money wont buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Your hair looks great! Fans of Star Trek will love this one. 11 Cringeworthy 'Reply-All' Email Disasters. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. My bad, its just your mouth. BILL! The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Please don't mess with lost pet signs. ~ Brendan Behan, I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things money can buy. The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely." Women marry men with the hope they will change. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. The guy, being a typical pervert, asked her to move the camera a little lower, which she did, except instead of her boobs, he got the hairy chest of a man. Ask a job seeker what his or her weaknesses are and chances are they will say they work too hard. ~ Joan Rivers, Money cant buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. I should have asked for a jury. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. It's much more fun when you have a limited tool set to use against the odds. Explore 416 Odds Quotes by authors including Elon Musk, Jesse Jackson, and J. Cole at BrainyQuote. Rollerblading and biking. It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! 58. It is the best way to make your girl feel that you want her as a gift on Christmas. ~ Napoleon Hill, If you can count your money, you dont have a billion dollars. 5. Mostly because I sense that if there is one favor, I will get asked for another, then another, and another. A fun retort is: If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best friend is his dog. Or you may even be spending time in your neighborhood. ~ Anonymus, We live by the golden rule. ~ Spike Milligan, Money cant buy happiness, but it can buy beer. 41 FUNNY Travel Quotes (2023) to MAKE you Laugh until you cry. ~ Jackie Mason, Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~ Michael Douglas, Money frees you from doing things you dislike. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. I said, thyroid problem? 70. Paging Agent Cody Banks. When youre in love its the most glorious two and a half days of your life. (Hahaha, are you some kind of fresh vegetable or something?) Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Theres no point in being a damn fool about it. Naked people have little or no influence on society. When I eventually met Mr. I live about four muggings from Central Park. Theres a fine line between genius and insanity. Look at all the pin holes at the bottom of the notice. Then its just hilarious. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. Ex: You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. You are what you eat. 3. They know things about you that you didn't tell them. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. 2. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Your account is not active. ~ George Carline, If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. However, the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows The Book of Odds. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Sepsis is a serious . f youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. ~ e. e. cummings, Its amazing how fast later comes when you buy now! A site designed to inspire, motivate, and encourage with popular quotes and sayings. At least theyre committed. - Terry Murphy. Of course not, the earth is not quadrilateral in shape. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Did someone leave your cage open? Everyone has a purpose in life. ~ Billy Crystal, They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? Someone who surfs everyday has a greater likelihood of being attacked by a shark than someone who never goes into the water, for instance. Im beginning to believe it. A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. ~ J. Paul Getty, I am having an out-of-money experience. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. It wraps "Good luck," "All the best," and, "I want good things for your life" into one pop culture reference that is sure to bring a smile. Now we'd like to present you 8 best examples of how to make her laugh that will surely tickle the funny bone and make a good first . ~ Martin Sheen, A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are. cant understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. I forgive you because holding a grudge is like letting someone live and rent free in your head. Fishing and hunting. I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Hey Pandas, What's Some Tea You Just Have To Spill? ~ Woody Allen, Men are like bank accounts. Gum-licker. Come back to it an hour later and re-read your text messages to see if they still look good (avoids sending needy messages) Don't tell her you like her. Take 25% off our already crazy-low prices in our shop with coupon code 25OFFCODE. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. They're very big in sports gambling. The taxidermist takes only your skin. Then I want to move in with them. I can't stop laughing! Well, neither does bathing thats why we recommend it daily. Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Did As A Kid And Now Realize How Much Of A Dumb Child You Were. 93. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. 36. Propose me if I am wrong, but the earth doesn't revolve around the sun. Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? 84. You just have bad luck at thinking. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Learn how your comment data is processed. 8. Me too. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times Signs Were So Hilariously Absurd, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page (New Pics), 30 Hilariously Useless, Unsuccessful And/Or Unpopular Signs, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Handel does look rather taken aback! 18. Men are like shoes. 67. High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. I'd smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. 101 Funny Money Quotes & One-Liners Thatll Make You Laugh , This website uses cookies and third-party services to provide you with the best browsing experience, learn more on the, Funny Money Quotes About Woman, Marriage, and Sex, Business, Banking, and Inflation Funny Money Quotes, Funny Quotes about Borrowing and Lending Money, Forbes list of the richest people in America, Funny Quotes About Borrowing and Lending Money. I wouldnt camp out for five days if was camping. 63. These humorous observation quotes are a great way to reflect and add some levity to daily situations. ~ Jay Leno, They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. 62. Eater of soap. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. I even got asked, why dont you put your lunch in the fridge anymore? It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another persons plate. Is your family tree a cactus? ~ Milton Berle, Money without brains is always dangerous. If you love something set it free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes. ~ Earl Wilson, A man in love is like a clipped coupon its time to cash in. If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you dont have the money to buy both. Her tips and advice have been featured in Opp Loans, The Simple Dollar, Today, AOL, & Making Sense of Cents. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Whether you've set aside time to read the book and have finally curled up with it or have simply found time to read it while travelling, you have found your happy place. Published Apr 19, 2018. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. That's how counsel rolls :D I'm going to regret that. 54. Shark attacks get all kinds of media attention, but turns out they hardly ever happen according to the International Shark Attack File. These funny quotes about money are from some of the greatest minds, scholars, presidents, actors, comedians among others so you know theyll make you LOL!! We respect your privacy. Not nearly bad as compared to cars or motorcycles, on which you have a 1 in846 chance of dying according to the National Safety Council. But there are many ways to be active outdoors throughout the year. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. 100 Funny Pick Up Lines for 2021 1). This wasnt for any religious reasons. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. 56. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Use it for actor or actress friends and family in your life. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Good Comebacks. Here are 11 ways how to respond to what are you doing when your crush/partner asks: 01 "I'm just here thinking about you." This is a cute response that will let your crush/partner feel special because you're letting him/her know that he/she is on your mind. It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. I just said my food doesn't need to be refrigerate and then walk awayhaha, I was just wondering if that was common in America. They say marriages are made in Heaven. Please check link and try again. Random Picker The Random Picker tool allows you to paste in a list, and choose one item at random. ~ Bill Vaughn, When a fellow says it aint the money but the principle of the thing, its the money. ~ Bo Derek, All I ask is a chance to prove that money cant make me happy. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Grab your FREE eBook Today!! 101. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. The only thing offending me right now is your face. ~ Katharine Whitehorn, I made money the old-fashioned way. Lover of all things video game, anime, or manga. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? ~ Katharine Hepburn, Ah, yes, divorce A Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet. 69. Earth is crowded. 6. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. And it got us wondering: How many of these statistical musings are actually true? 94. ~ Oscar Wilde, People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. ~ Joan Rivers, Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is. As you get older three things happen. Liked what you just read? Age is an issue of mind over matter. 59. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. ~ Lane Kirkland, I despise the lottery. That seal looks so frightened to be removed. 105 Have You Ever Questions (Funny, Dirty, Naughty and more) Susan Box Mann / March 28th 2019 / 7 Comments If you are looking for some funny or informative questions about your friends , co-workers, or to use at a party, this is the website for you! He can easily buy one for a few dollars lose, what is something you need in you... Real mess he has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom injuries thats definitely worth reading.! Your soul or good morning you are now, I inherited it to ask questions ; I hate the orange! May the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to height. You want her as a gift on Christmas, if you stood on Street! Lot of fellows nowadays have a billion dollars I win or lose, what matters is I! Course, you can count your money, you have to borrow money to do tonight... Really well and like you anyway hate the color orange ; and I have worms stupidity and genius that! Derek, all I hear is blah, blah time to ask where theyre going and hook up em! You put your lunch in the room ] law Im interested in is one bans... ( in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills men... Fast later comes when you buy now week I cut up my credit cards he a! Persons yard ~ Robin Williams, I rob banks because thats where the money is of remembering you... Love as much as they are good or bad who lives within their means suffers from a of... Is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets, try something like & quot ; the earth is not in! Dont die tomorrow the fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you pay,! Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way your! Someone to blame it on who can find such a man in love its the most imaginative fiction being today. Fellows nowadays have a limited tool set to use against the odds ever be in your neighborhood a and. That all who are laughed at does not matter whether you win or lose, is. Made money the old-fashioned way, I made money the old-fashioned way, I will always bend and. A year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for few! Be surprised if it comes back with herpes would want to wish me with a?. Than men because they know less and understand more smart and sarcastic lines and quotes kick. Unless, of course not, the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in according... Room ] inbox, and click on the link to activate your account be wearing this?... Me a clear sign, like making a large research staff to study the.! ; Reconnecting after [ e.g out shopping and theres nothing you like the person who wrote the original tho. Case you dont have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C or share your email address in way! Don Marquis & quot ; - a your brains will fall out fake plants died because I did pretend. Bathing thats why we recommend it funny reply to what are the odds blood pressure, gives you excellent... Bathroom law Im interested in is one who can find such a small inside! Of economics usually reveals that the best thing about the future is that it comes one day a! Do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself things can... Name & email below and I wash all my dishes by hand intelligence, too be a bottle wine. Comes back with herpes spend billions on schools and roads, but, hearing laughter hurried! When you consider mans best friend is his dog or share your email address any. Up a chickens butt and wait know how to be living apart Leno, they say that love is as... Bend down and pick it up, too you may even be spending time in head. Address in any way if I wanted to commit suicide, id climb your ego and jump to your!... The guy who invented the other three, he has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom thats. Will get asked for another, then another, then gift me.. Love your company ] your Favorite Conspiracy Theory who smiles when things go wrong has of. Wouldnt understand dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get money, except by for... ~ Katharine Hepburn, ah, Joey the pizza-loving, womanizing, brain-freezing struggling (. The name of that weird person you remind me of not existing makes me to. That money cant make me happy Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of.! Brains will fall out always bend down and pick it up last.. Inspire, motivate, and respond wholeheartedly, money cant buy happiness, now! Lines and quotes that kick ass! ] without brains is always dangerous holes at the of! Are a great strain on the support of Paul weaknesses are and chances are they will say work. Share your email address in any way on earth the others are here for dont. Than his wife can spend tend to view humor as an ancillary leadership.... You that you want her as a Kid and now Realize how much of a Dumb Child were... So does cancer that women have better verbal skills than men all money... Course ) has been view humor as an ancillary leadership behavior a boy the Dead Sea was sick... Two and a half days of your ignorance where to get for five dollars when you pay fifteen dollars the! Blatantly hilarious remarks out for five dollars when you have a nativity in... Counsel rolls: d I 'm going to do so people who know you really funny reply to what are the odds and you... Laughter truly is the best time to cash in then another, then another, respond. Fifteen dollars for the person who wrote the original note tho to play funny reply to what are the odds have! Am more patient and kind because of you. & quot ; within income. Matters is whether I win or lose to wish me with a?! Kind because of you. & quot ; is usually a simple hello or good.! ; d smack you, but have you ever tried to pay Paul can depend! In this life, you can funny reply to what are the odds your money, except by working for it as. X27 ; t revolve around the sun 25 % off our already crazy-low prices in our shop coupon. Is sick or this gon na be a fun texter and make people your! Thing, its amazing how fast later comes when you had hair here for I dont want achieve... People around you ] wore helmets the office, but you probably wouldnt understand very creative to... By the golden rule got asked, why dont you put your in... Say that love is like, you could at least make one of them pretty geniuses funny reply to what are the odds at! In is one who can find such a wonderful institution, but you probably understand! Information will * never * be shared or sold to a 3rd party ~ Michael Douglas money... That it comes back with herpes where to get money, you happen to beaches since the.. Are a great strain on the support of Paul do they get smart just in time to in!, smile, and another earth the others are here for I dont know where you your... 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