Hi, my friend!
Because you are a total package (mind, body, and spirit), you deserve tools that will support the whole you.
Today I want to talk about a feeling that may plague you at times, leave you wanting, rushed, and not supportive of yourself and other women.
Jealousy. YUCK, the worst right?!
Let’s face it, it’s an ugly feeling, and no one wants to admit to it?
The formal definition of jealousy: believing a thing (or quality) that someone else possesses is something you need to make your life better. It’s fueled by negative energy that they have it and you don’t.
Here’s what it sounds like:
- “Why does she get to eat whatever she wants and have a body like that.”
- “She seems to always know how to parent her kids and I’m trying to figure out what to do.”
- “If I just had a husband that loves me like that”
- “Her kids are perfect, so it’s no wonder she has it so easy.”
- “She always looks so put together, and I’m so freaking tired all the time.”
So, what do you secretly compare in your life that causes you to feel jealous of other women?
- Thin body?
- “Perfect” kids?
- Loving relationship?
- Work that they love?
- FB/Instagram pics that portray a picture-perfect life?
Now I want to ask you a second question and really think about it.
If you just had that “thing” that you see others having, what would that mean?
Do any of these answers resonate with you?
- “I would feel good.”
- “I would feel better about myself.”
- “I would feel on top of the world.”
- “I would feel worthy or good enough.”
- “I would feel like I’ve arrived and made it.”
Let’s not stop there. Do you notice a pattern behind each statement?
The real reason behind anything you want in life is how you think it will make you feel.
That used to be me when I was always dieting and working out while carrying extra weight.
I would walk into a gym, find the thinner women in the room, and wish I had their bodies too.
I imagined them not having a care in the world, eating whatever they wanted and walking around naked feeling confident and happy.
This thinking not only caused me to feel jealous because I didn’t have a thin body, but it made me feel less than like something was wrong with me for not being able to figure it out.
I wanted to be thin because I thought that would make me happy.
- What you are really wanting is to feel better.
- It’s your own thinking that creates your feelings.
- Your life makes up 50/50% good/bad feelings.
No one is excluded from this, and that’s called being a human.
Here is the BEST NEWS for you:
Now that you know that the real reason behind wanting that particular thing is a feeling and it’s your thinking that creates your feelings, then you can feel better right now.
Your jealous thoughts are simply an indication to bring it back to you, realizing that you are needing to feel better so that you can enjoy the ride and process of going after your goals. For me, I could make myself feel better about myself in the present as I was working on losing weight, instead of feeling bad all the time.
The other caveat is that your thinking has to be believable to you or it won’t work. So for me with my weight, to think “I’m beautiful” when I was feeling fat would not have worked. But read on so you can see how to apply this and exactly what I did as my own example for you to work through this.
This is how you apply it:
- What thoughts are causing you to feel jealous? What do you think they want to communicate to you about YOU and your real goal?
- What are you believing that the thing you are jealous of is going to make you feel?
- What thought would give you that feeling right now or something that’s neutral to make you feel better right now?
- Take that new thought you chose and practice replacing your old jealous thinking each time.
- The thought “these women are so much thinner than me.” Made me feel jealous and showed me that my “real” goal was in wanting to take care of my body better so it can get back to its natural thin weight.
- I believed that I would be happy once I had a body like theirs but until then I was very unhappy as my thinking made me feel bad and jealous.
- My goals were to feel peace and send them love while bringing it back to me and focusing on my thinking around my weight-loss journey.
Here were my new thoughts: “I am working on taking care of myself and my body each day. I send these women love and thank them for showing me what’s possible.”
- I would say that anytime I would catch myself feeling jealous. I practiced it over and over until it was my go-to thought.
My friend, you can feel better by surrendering and dropping thoughts that make you feel jealous. Then you get to choose to “change your mind over” to what feels good, energizing, and peaceful. It probably won’t happen the very first time, but keep surrendering and practicing the new thinking that you purposefully chose to take on as your new thinking.
Promise yourself to try this out and keep doing this. See where it takes you
Here’s to becoming the best version of you and a delicious rest of your week!
I’m here if you want more support or have any questions around this.